BATTLE: NEW JERSEY
SFX: Helicopters, radio dial changing
ANN: It’s the movie everyone will be talking about…
REPORTER: Scientists are scrambling to understand an unexplained meteor shower. Evacuations are now under way.
SOLDIER: How many of you are there?
SNOOKI: Depends on who you ask, right now I’m seeing double! Party! Wooo!
JERSEY GIRL 2: Welcome to the Jersey Shore bitch!
ANN: Battle: New Jersey.
SOLDIER: These are not meteors, we are being colonized!
SNOOKI: I met a guido last night name Colin, and you can say I was colonized! Dammmmn!
ANN: Finally an alien invasion movie where you can root for the aliens!
SOLDIER: Listen to me, this is a serious situation!
SITUATION: Hey, I’m the only Situation here! I’m an Italian guy from New Jersey, ok? I’m like Rambo, only from Jersey, ok?
SFX: Situation exploding
SNOOKI: Oh my god, he’s blowing up just like my cell phone! Holla!
ANN: They’re the only ones that can stop a fifth season of Jersey Shore.
SOLDIER: This is your last chance, we are evacuating now!
JERSEY GUY: Alright, alright, but I ain’t going nowhere without my hair gel!
SFX: Explosions
ANN: Battle: New Jersey. It turns out the only life form more annoyed than Americans, is Aliens.
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