SFX: Birds chirping
ANN: Are you tired of your life and your career being on track? Bored with being normal and making sense all the time? Charlie Sheen can help.
SFX: Drug Ad Music
ANN: 9 out of 10 doctors recommend the new drug, Charlie Sheen.
MAN: I used to respect my boss. But then my doctor recommended I start taking Charlie Sheen. Now I called my boss a turd and became unemployed. Thank you Charlie Sheen!
ANN: Live your life the way you’re supposed to. Like a complete maniac.
MAN 2: I was in a loving marriage for 26 years. Then with one dose of Charlie Sheen, I found myself naked in a hotel room with a hooker in my closet. It’s about time I replaced the skeletons in my closet with prostitutes. Thanks Charlie Sheen!
ANN: Are you ready to live a bitching rock star life? Then go to your doctor, and ask for Charlie Sheen, the most bitching prescription. Side effects may include chain smoking, hooker addiction, career suicide, bi-winning disorder, Vatican assassin warlord worship, face melting, children weeping over your exploded body, death and complete insanity.
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