ANN: Now that Charlie Sheen is out of a job, what will he do? You guessed it! Come on down to Charlie Sheen’s new restaurant, The Meltdown!
SFX: restaurant music, dinner conversation
Sheen: Fried Callamecrazy! That’s right bro, it’s me, Charlie Sheen. I needed a new business venture, and BOOM. Sheen, magic, eatery, bring it.
ANN: Charlie’s Meltdown has an expansive menu, including the famous Crack Crab and the delightful Walnut Street salad!
Sheen: At my restaurant, you don’t have to use conventional tools like forks or your hands to eat, here you use a Saber, like a mid-evil warrior hell bent on deliciousness.
ANN: That’s right, the Sheen machine is back and better than ever! Bring the kids! You’ll love the family friendly environment.
Sheen: Rack of lamb? Breast of chicken? Done. Boom. All the racks and breasts you can handle. And we also have food.
ANN: Having trouble deciding what to order? No problem! Charlie will order for you!
Sheen: That’s right, just tell the waitresses slash baby sitters slash porn star, to “bring it”, and I will personally select and cook your entre myself. Easy. Boom, Pow, Sheen.
ANN: At Charlie Sheen’s Meltdown, the straws are actually used for drinking and not snorting!
Sheen: Here’s the real breakdown, bro. TV star, restaurant owner. Same exact thing, I travel at a speed faster than light that’s faster than a curveball that’s faster than my heart rate. Boom.
ANN: Charlie Sheen’s Meltdown, where meals are free of appetite suppressing drugs.
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